If this was real life, I’d greet you with a big toothy grin and my signature greeting. So, lets pretend we are in a coffee shop somewhere, nothing too fancy or expensive, I’m a Carer so my wage packet really doesn’t stretch to fancy Macchiatos, better make mine a hot chocolate with the trimmings, I don’t even like coffee. It gives me horrendous wind.
I’ve just burst through the door fashionably late, my eyebrows will be immaculate but I can promise the rest of my face looks shit, I’m the one whos roots need doing and I could probably do with sticking my Converse in the wash, yes that’s me, the loud one shouting “ALRIGHT MY LOVER?”
I’m a Mother of one very beautiful, argumentative teenage girl and StepMother to two wonderfully unique little people. And then there is Paul, the love of my life, the one who has to endure my constant pinteresting of our future wedding ( I hope) and nagging to put a ring on it before Ryan Gosling decides I really was the one who got away. We live in our tardis of a home in the rural outskirts of Northampton.
I’m always hearing the term “A classic Emma”, be it when someone has done something as equally as stupid as I have been known to say or do, or, when I’m throwing one of my fantastical strops or rants. Either way, there’s only one of me. I’m actually shocked my Mother didn’t have her vagina stitched up completely after having me instead of going on to having three more. In this blog you’ll hear all about what my little party of five get up to, my quest for the perfect Charlize Theron smile (I’m the one with brocolli in her braces) and life as a 33 year old on the menopause as well as any other delightful insights I can come up with, I promise it’ll be tears and laughter all the way.
Stay with me.
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